A Modern Eulogy for A Modern Man

Here lies @modern_man87, friend of 1,466, follower of 2,346, a kind and generous liker. He followed back so unconditionally, often times recklessly. I remember one time he followed a Russian pornbot for a whole week before he could muster up the courage to unfollow her, and all because he liked the form comment it left on his posts. @modern_man87 could brighten up the days of strangers with a simple heart, fav, double-tap. Often times friends and followers would wake up and find all their tweets and posts from the day before liked. That’s just the kind of guy he was. While not a prolific poster himself, @modern_man87 lived for retweets. One of his favorite activities was thinking up new and clever ways to comment about the world around him. @modern_man87 lives on in those tweets, those pictures, those shared articles. @modern_man87 leaves behind a respectable Tinder profile, filled with women he never worked up the courage to ask out, and an entire world seen but unseen. He will be missed, but his profiles will remain, a lasting legacy of a rich and fulfilled digital life.



A Yakima native by way of Indonesia, Sam Stoothoff is currently mining the gold of an interesting life lived in Brooklyn. More people should be reading his stuff; find it here: